Friday, November 9, 2007
excited!
This morning, I have my session with the trainer, Kevin! I am both excited and scared! The last time I was even NEAR a gym, to actually work out, was when I was 18 and was going to Nautilus. I so hope I don't screw up, or make a fool of myself..... I think that is my biggest fear, especially with being the size I am. There has always been that fear, deep inside, of being a fat person, screwing up, and having the so called beautiful people laugh at me and make fun. Which, in retrospect, is probably the main reason why I have never really fought to lose weight. For fear of failing and being laughed at. BUT! I don't think I care anymore what is said about me. I give back now, as good as I have ever gotten. I don't brook no shit! I have to have that attitude. It's the only way for me to survive, I guess. I just hope and pray that it doesn't back fire on me and make me a mean and cold hearted person later on in life, like some of my relatives have become. Maybe if I keep that in my mind's eye, I will be ok. *sighs* Here's hoping things go well this morning! I'll post later on, after my gym visit.
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1 comment:
You know I really felt that way when I first stared going. That the people working out there would laugh at me, etc.
But I later realized. Everyone is there to do the same thing. Work out and get healthy, and most of them are too busy doing just that to even pay attention to anyone else. That has really helped me just go in and do my thing and not worry about what I think people are thinking or saying when they see me....
Good luck!
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